To have and to hold
by the-otherside-has-snow
Summary: It could be said that they both loved each other very much, but that was only half true. One was in love, the other had been gripped by a powerful lust that wasn't intent on releasing him until his desires were fulfilled by any means necessary, and his brother was all too eager to comply.


**It could be said that they both loved each other very much, but that was only half true. One was in love, the other had been gripped by a powerful lust that wasn't intent on releasing him until his desires were fulfilled by any means necessary, and his brother was all too eager to comply. **

**Whether they come to terms with the other's emotions is entirely up to them.**

**A/N: **The setting is an 1800's era castle in Germany, around the time of German Unification. Ludwig is around 16 or 17 years old, and Gilbert is 22 or 23. They are brothers, but not nations, so human names are used. Any historical mentionings are researched to the best of my ability, but I'm not very good with history so most of it will be vague so I don't write the wrong things. I'll try not to be inaccurate.

_(Just as an afterthought, the song "Inside of you" by Hoobastank can be applied to Gilbert, while "When you were young" by The Killers and/or "Clarity" by Zedd can be applied to Ludwig. You don't have to listen, the songs just compliment the characters. I'm more partial to this version of Clarity though_ tumblr_ 3#_=__)_

o.o.o

Light flitted happily through the gauze curtains in the parlor, and floated away from the windows when a breeze blew through. The castle was peaceful at this time of day, Ludwig noted. The maids went off to clean, the cooks began preparing for dinner, and the various servants took advantage of the good weather by going outside and taking care of the stable, cutting the grass, and pulling weeds.

Ludwig, instead, opted to stay inside by the window, letting the soft rays of the sun illuminate his book. This was his third time reading Shakespeare's Sonnets, and he couldn't put the book down. His nose buried in page sixteen, he didn't notice to ruffling of a skirt nearby.

It may have been a blessing or a curse to have the only hand maid that could read, because she knew exactly what he was pouring himself over for the past day. She blushed and giggled, coming out of her spying spot around a corner, and he looked up.

"Don't worry, young master" she whispered with a wink; she was more perceptive than the blonde thought, "I won't tell her of your affections." And with that, she disappeared.

The young blonde sat in stunned silence, contemplating everything that happened in the span of a few seconds. She knew how to read? That explained…not a lot. She never gave him any cause to suspect that she could read, so her comments came completely by surprise to the now flustered blonde.

And _'her'_? Who could she possibly think caught his attention so much that he was reading love poems obsessively? There were no other women in the castle besides the maids, and they were unpleasant women, to be frank. Most of them were over the age of twenty eight, far too old for him.

No, his attention caught on a man. There was no other soul that knew this fact, and he wished to keep it that way.

This man happened to be away on a hunt for the day. He had told him the night before that he would be leaving at dawn, and not to worry if he came back a bit late, and 'for all that is holy do _not_ eat my sweets or you _will_ be sorry'. Ludwig kept that promise.

His love for his brother was completely romantic, along with the brotherly love they had grown together with. Gilbert brother complemented him, and he was grateful. Whenever Ludwig felt isolated, his brother was there for him. They resided in each other, and needed the other just as they needed air and water to survive. One without the other in their company was like a dog without a tail. It was precisely this that infatuated Ludwig. Time in his brother's presence revealed to him everything perfect and flawed about his elder. He had seen him during triumph and failure, naked and bleeding on the ground but he kept that resilient humour as long as Ludwig was by his side.

Ludwig shifted on the indigo velvet chaise just as a door opened. He gave no thought to it, until he heard the familiar raspy voice. "Send no one to my room for the rest of the day" the stranger ordered, but it was no stranger.

_Gilbert was back!_

It was best not to look too eager, and rush up to Gilbert right after he came home. The albino needed to do paperwork, take inventory, _relax _before Ludwig went to him, or else he would get a scolding.

He settled instead on laying the book carefully on the side table, and walked thoughtfully through the halls. Unfortunately for Gilbert, he couldn't contain his happiness at the thought of him being home again, and he went straight for his study. The large oaken door was the only thing in his way.

After a heavy knock, there came a grumbling "Hm?" from the other side, and he cracked the door without another word. Gilbert sat on the opposite wall from the door, fountain pen in hand and ledger on the secretary desk, no doubt writing a journal entry of his day.

"What is it Ludwig?" came the sigh, and he put down his pen, but didn't turn around. His hunched shoulders betrayed the tension he was under.

"Did the hunt…not go well?" Ludwig ventured, placing a foot inside the room but going no further. It was would not have been smart to approach him in this state. The last time someone did that, they had been relieved of their position with no further explanation. He could only imagine what would happen to him.

"Oh, the hunt went _marvelously_" he replied with a cold laugh. This was worrisome. "Gunnar got scared by a snake and threw me off. Injured my back pretty badly, but do not worry, you know how resilient I am." The joke didn't pass Ludwig and he smiled. Gilbert didn't seem to be doing _too_ badly, so he stepped in further so he was a few feet behind the chair. It was foolish to try and see what Gilbert was writing in his journal, he had learned that the hard way one night when he thought Gilbert was asleep.

The blonde had snuck in around one in the morning, when he was _sure _Gilbert would be asleep because he had a parliament election to attend in the morning.

How wrong he was.

No sooner had he slid the drawer open of the desk and spied the leather bound pages when an arm shot out and took his wrist in a hard grip. He was tugged roughly back to Gilbert's bed, tossed onto the mattress, and soon had a groggy, sleep deprived, seething Gilbert looming over him and pinning his wrists firmly to the mattress.

"_The next time you try a little stunt like that"_ he whispered into his ear, breath entirely too hot and voice entirely too husky from sleep for Ludwig's liking, _"you won't have eyes to read any other book again."_

The threat was all too real, and when he was released, he was happy to leave Gilbert to his own devices for the week after, not daring to look him in the eyes.

The delivery of the threat, however, had given him that all too familiar feeling in his gut, that nothing but locking his door for a few hours and a hand towel could relieve.

He was hopelessly in love with his brother, and he would take that secret to his grave.

o.o.o

Gilbert's back hadn't fully recovered two days after the incident, and Ludwig, understandably, suggested a doctor.

"Ludwig, I do _not_ need a doctor. It'll heal on its own time. Now stop fretting and do your lessons."

The pair sat in Ludwig's schoolroom, with Ludwig at his own replica of Gilbert's desk, and Gilbert sitting in a chair next to it, feet propped up on the edge of the desk as he scrawled in an expenses ledger. The albino insisted on not having a real schoolteacher, and instead wanted to teach Ludwig himself. Of course, he didn't teach him art or any of those prissy subjects. No, he taught him war, and how to manipulate people to get what you wanted, _useful_ subjects. Of course he taught him arithmetic- or what he could remember of it.

Ludwig was currently trying to study battle tactics, but his brother's presence hindered him, as it did on a regular basis. Every time Gilbert shifted in his chair, he let out a groan of agony. This time he was more concerned for Gilbert's wellbeing than his own excitement at the sound. He set down his pen and turned to his brother, who glared disapprovingly at the ceasing of his quiet learning.

"Either leave the room or call a doctor, brother, because I can hardly do my studies with you making such obscene noises."

"Obscene?" he snorted, "_hardly_. Besides, you know I've never needed a doctor for anything, even when I broke my leg."

"Yes, _obviously_ you don't need a doctor because you don't limp on that leg anymore" he said with a hint of sarcasm. Gilbert gave a warning growl.

"Careful, kleine, or you'll be punished." Ludwig swallowed thickly and his face turned a bright shade of crimson, much to Gilbert's delight. He loved making Ludwig squirm, and he _loved_ following up on his threats. Gilbert believed strongly in corporal punishment, so the consequences for Ludwig's disobedience was often spanking, caning, or paddling. Mostly the former. But Ludwig wised up and learned to heed his warnings early on. They were not sensual punishments, but real ones, meant to hurt instead of arouse.

Still, it was fun to tease him like this. Ludwig fell silent and turned back to his studies, mind still racing over his words. Did he say those things on purpose to fluster him? Sometimes he thought he did, but that would mean he knew of his affections, which would have been torturous.

Gilbert groaned again as his back gave another painful twinge. "What about a massage?" Ludwig piped up, and the albino raised a brow.

"A _what_?"

"A mass-"

"No, I heard you clearly, but…_what_?" The look on Gilbert's face could have been described as comical, if it weren't more confused.

"Since you refuse to call for a physician, or leave the room, then the only thing I can think of is me giving you a massage." The blush on Ludwig's pale face spread, but he held his stance. It would ease his studies, and let him get his hands on Gilbert, so long as he kept his composure.

After a brief moment of silence, Gilbert spoke. "The only furniture in this room is your desk, these two chairs, and a bookcase, Ludwig. Where do you propose this '_massage'_ take place? Hm?" That threw Ludwig for a loop, and Gilbert smirked.

"Floor" he answered and Gilbert laughed heartily.

"You really are dead sent on this, aren't you? Very well then."

With another moan of pain he stood from his chair, boots clomping over to the middle of the floor before he lay down on his stomach.

Ludwig was stunned. He had to do this now.

He swallowed and followed suit, walking over to the laying figure. He had only knowledge of what he had read in books, and even then massages weren't studied on so much as to prove that they helped with any ailment. The general consensus from physicians was that "massaging of the muscles stimulated blood flow to the afflicted area, therefore aiding in the necessary healing process."

This experimental healing had to work, or else Gilbert know he was grasping for a reason to get his hands on him. Gilbert wouldn't have minded though. He had to stop himself from jumping at the mention of a massage from his brother. He knew his thoughts were lecherous, but the idea of his brother's lithe, taut body perched on his thighs, and soft hands roaming his back, slowly drifting lower and lower…

The albino cleared his throat and shifted, willing his erection to go away. Ludwig wouldn't notice it, but laying on it would be more painful than his back injury.

"Where does it hurt?" Ludwig asked, settling cross legged on Gilbert's left side. He placed a careful hand between his shoulder blades and applied little pressure, drifting lower until he received a twinge of pain from his brother. Slowly, he lifted the shirt and coat to inspect the area. He frowned.

"If you could see the bruise on your back you would be begging for a doctor now" he chided, and a smile graced the chiseled features of Gilbert's handsome face, now resting on folded arms.

"Yes, well, since you think you're a better doctor, get on with your duties. I don't pay you to sit around."

"You don't pay me at all" Ludwig remarked, and rested his hands on the periphery of the large mottled bruise. "I'm not going to touch it, but I'll go around the outer edges. If I had known it was this large I'd have called a doctor in, no matter how much you protested."

"Humph." Gilbert didn't answer, he was too preoccupied with the hands on his back. Though there was pain, he overlooked it in favor of imagining those hands elsewhere on his body. His mind shifted to his dark room. The smell of sweet, musky incense filling the room and the moonlight illuminating the two bodies joining on the bed at the center. It was sin to imagine he and his brother together in this way, but no one had to know other than himself, as long as he kept his mouth shut.

Ludwig sat in contemplative silence as his hands smoothed over the muscled back, admiring the strong body before him. He could hardly call Gilbert thin, or overly muscular, but what he could call him was perfect. The thoughtfulness with which he carried out every action. The fond love in his eyes when he saw the blonde. The playful banter they shared between only them made his affliction with the albino stronger. There were some times when Gilbert was careless and callous, sometimes not caring about Ludwig's feelings, and being downright cruel on some occasions, but Ludwig chalked it up to stress and the pressures of being, well, _Gilbert_.

If Gilbert saw the adoration in his eyes, his feelings would have been betrayed and his secret revealed. And rejection was something Ludwig could not handle well.

Gilbert's conscious, meanwhile, had strayed into more detailed imaginings. His brother slumped against a wall, blonde hair strewn about his face and blue eyes lidded. His body was covered in welts and bite marks, stiff member betraying how much he enjoyed the rough treatment. There was a ghost of a hand print covering his backside, and more bite marks trailing to the back of his creamy thighs. Someone bade the blonde to turn and face the wall, and he obeyed, backside arching out.

The sight that greeted Gilbert was delicious.

Instinct roared with pride and possession within Gilbert at the vision of the marked canvas before him.

Hand prints, bite marks, whip lashings, anything his mind could conjure painted the milky skin of Ludwig's back. Come dripped down Ludwig's ass and thighs, dripping out of his stretched and abused entrance, as well as a pink tinge of blood.

"I'm sorry, did I press too hard?" came the innocent voice, and it snapped him out of his erotic daydream. He had released a moan without realizing, and he was now aware of how painful it really was to lay face down on an erection. He coughed and righted himself, Ludwig pulling his hands back.

"This isn't working" the albino muttered, "I may as well request a doctor." And with that, he rushed out the door, Ludwig stunned and guilt ridden.

o.o.o

The next day, Gilbert could barely look his brother in the eye. He occupied himself with meetings, portrait paintings, anything he could think of to stay away from the blonde.

Ludwig took the neglect personally, and holed himself in his rooms reading the Sonnets. His plan was simple. Find his brother and apologize for anything and everything he had done wrong, even if it was nothing. He loved his brother dearly, and any time they spent apart was an arrow through his heart.

Gilbert's mind had been plagued with the thought of a panting, naked, begging Ludwig for the entire day, and the more he tried to think about another subject, the more erotic the thoughts became.

"Brother, have I done something wrong?" questioned Ludwig at dinner, and Gilbert shook his head.

"Of course not, why would you think that?" He took a spoonful of soup into his mouth and swallowed, waiting for his answer.

"You've been avoiding me all day. Did I massage you incorrectly?"

Gilbert almost spat out the next mouthful of soup, but to avoid getting it all over Ludwig, he ended up choking instead. After a minute of thorough coughing, and thumping of his chest, he answered. "Of course not" he said.

The answer on his mind was 'you massaged in the wrong place'.

"I forgot I had to interview a new cook. Christoph is requesting a month's leave because his wife is delivering her third child. Why they need a third one is beyond me, one child is plenty sufficient" he remarked, reaching across the dining table to ruffle the blonde head of hair.

The blush he earned in return was enough to trigger his imagination again, and he coughed. More than the blush he saw a gleam in his brother's eyes that he couldn't quite place. Admiration was part of it, of course. Who wouldn't admire the great Gilbert Beilschmidt?

He was snapped out of his reverie by a butler entering with dessert. Nothing fancy, just two slices of yesterday's coffee cake. Gilbert was the one with the sweet tooth to rival an army of small children, and Ludwig indulged only occasionally. Mostly it was when he was trying to locate his brother's secret stash of peanut brittle.

Gilbert dug in, seemingly making more room after gorging himself on soup and bread, and Ludwig ate slowly. His feelings, he was sure, were unreciprocated. This love he held for his brother was one sided, and after a while, they would be no more than just that, brothers living in the same house. He could describe it as a brief infatuation with the albino, admiring his mind, personality, and body just as one would admire the stories of Greek gods in all their glory.

But it did not feel that way to him. Passion had gripped him tight and forced him obsess over every little action his elder performed. He saw as they went out for a ride together and the way his body moved so expertly with the horse as he lagged behind to watch. He paid careful attention the way his lips nibbled in the end of his pen when he wrote in his journal or signed his signature on a document.

Everything he did or said was pure bliss, and he didn't want the poison of love to be drawn from his veins.

o.o.o

Dessert ended in a quiet, serene silence, neither male saying anything because there was nothing to be said between the two. Gilbert pushed his chair from the table and handed the plate to a nearby butler.

"Well, I can hardly say that this day was worth writing about, but nevertheless, I'll jot something down tonight, I'm sure. I'm going to bathe. Maybe the hot water will do something for my back. Goodnight, kleine." As was per usual, he leaned over to brush the golden hair from his forehead and kissed the skin before retreating to the washroom along with a few male servants.

At the mention of his journal, and then a bath, Ludwig felt like a fool. Why hadn't he read his journal while he took baths? Gilbert took one twice a week, sometimes three, and they were long affairs so he could take advantage of the hot water they had left at the end of the day. If Ludwig had thought of this plan sooner, he would be able to read his entries as he wrote them. How blind he was to this perfect scheme.

Not to look too hasty and provoke the suspicions of the butlers and servants waiting on his orders, he finished his cake in a timely matter, hoping he had not lost much time. He got up and waved the servants off as he left the room, the tinkling of china being cleaned off the table resounding in his ears.

Hopefully the drawer wasn't locked, as was sometimes known to happen. As he neared his room his heart leapt. The door was unlocked and ajar, and after a sneak peek inside, he saw the drawer in Gilbert's desk was cracked open an inch. There was no reason to tiptoe inside, but Ludwig couldn't help it. He was defying his brother's order, and the mere thought made him cower. Once inside he shut the door tightly and went to the desk.

_Finally_, he was going to get to see what was in his journal.

Even though it was most likely the musings about the events of his day, the danger of being caught was almost too much to resist. If it really was just that, why would Gilbert mind him reading it? Surely there was nothing secret inside, otherwise he would refer to it as a diary instead.

With shaking fingers he opened the first page and scanned the surface. Nothing of importance. The date read November 6th, 1872, almost a year ago minus one month. He skipped further to more recent entries.

"_Today, Gunnar threw me off. There was a damn snake in the path and I thought the stable boy broke him of that fear when I bought him as a colt. Either he didn't do his duty or it is impossible to break horses from this fear, but I'll take him out another time. I mustn't forget that I have another hunt with the chancellor next month."_

Ludwig turned the page.

"_My back is hurting terribly. I would call for a doctor, but for some reason or another, the thought of one terrifies me. I cannot place it, but I suppose it is the fact that they dissect dead patients. I suddenly remember a dream where I was being operated on by one of them, but I was still alive on the dissecting table. Then the physician's face turned out to be my dear Ludwig, and it turned into a nightmare. To have Ludwig do that to me would be the incarnation of terror in reality. It's become even harder now to tell him the truth. I doubt I ever will."_

Ludwig's eye brows rose. Tell him what truth? The entries had gotten more interesting as he went on, and he eagerly turned the page once more.

"_Damn that child. Damn the fact that we are brothers. Damn my cowardice. My fear of rejection and a disgusted reaction from him is overpowering my desire for him, but I can bear it no longer. Either I leave, or I must distance myself from him. But both options are as torturous as admitting my uncontrollable desire for his body. I feel no love past the fondness I have for him as a brother, but instead I love his form. I do not want a tender, loving kiss from his lips. I want them enclosing around my sex and sucking, and I want his innocent eyes looking up from between my legs like some harlot I found on a street corner at midnight. I want his beautiful naked body underneath mine as he begs me, screaming himself hoarse…"_

Ludwig's heart was thumping like mad, and the picture painted in his mind drove his body to a higher heat than ever. He didn't know if he should continue. Of course he wanted to, but he was intruding on private thoughts Gilbert intended no one to read. It was stunning to think that Gilbert thought about him in this way.

Ludwig was conflicted. Gilbert didn't love him, at least not in the way Ludwig loved him back.

The hypocrisy of the situation almost made him laugh. Ludwig was perfectly content with being in love with his brother, but having sex with him without any emotional ties at all was out of the question.

But not quite.

"_Nothing would please me more than him. Not the finest horses from Persia, nor the Crown Jewels of England. Only his body and utter devotion to me."_

So that was what Gilbert wanted. That was why he teased, tormented Ludwig for blushes and shy glances over the table. Why he left the massage because of his carnal imagination. Why he was never allowed to be within a foot of his desk or Gilbert while he was writing.

He was unsure if he wanted to know anything more. The thought aroused him as well as made him sick, to have his brother take him in such a way without any thought of romance. That was how Gilbert was, he supposed. Too brash to consider the deeper aspects of bedding someone, that there might be consequences.

"If I already know this much, I may as well continue" he muttered under his breath. His voice wavered nervously, and he turned a page. The sight that befell his eyes froze him.

Inside were three detailed drawings of, what he assumed to be, himself, in various contorted positions. One showed him being penetrated from behind by a faceless stranger, a hand tangled in his hair and making him arch his back to an impossible angle.

The second had his limbs tied to a chair with legs spread and a string tight around the base of his sex, while a blindfold obscured his vision of the figure brandishing a riding crop before him.

Finally, the third drawing illustrated him kneeling in front of a pair of strong legs as ejaculate dripped down his face and into his open mouth. His eyes were lidded with lust and enjoyment at being desecrated in such a crude fashion.

Ludwig thought his face couldn't get any more red.

Certainly it could be said that Gilbert was a skilled artist, but did he learn solely for this purpose? It seemed like a waste if all of this art was in a private journal. Red ink marked with an arrow the third picture, something that Ludwig could not understand. It didn't take much, however, to comprehend.

He wished he wasn't so engulfed in the journal that he couldn't hear the footsteps down the hall.

o.o.o

The hot water of the bath hadn't helped his back as much as he thought it would, Gilbert noticed as he walked down the hallway to his room. He had his sleep pants on and a shirt hung off his shoulders loosely, not bothering to button it up since he was going to take it off to sleep soon.

At the head of the hall he noticed his door closed. He never closed his door unless he was doing paperwork. It always got too hot in there and the breeze from the hallway helped cool it off at night. Carefully he approached the door and opened it silently, peeking his head in.

He wanted to die.

From across the room he could see that Ludwig was near the middle of his journal, which meant his most previous entries. Which meant confessions of lust and passion he hoped no one would ever know of.

And his drawings. Oh God, _his drawings. _He had completely forgotten about them, but judging from the deep shade of crimson on his brother's neck and ears, he had found those pages as well.

With a thick swallow Gilbert entered his room silently, the blood pounding through the blonde's ear drums so violently that he heard nothing else. His eyes frantically scanned the drawings once more and his tongue darted out to wet his dry lips. He was feeling something deep inside him, as if it had emerged through a volcano of dormant sexual appetite.

"_Ludwig."_ The rough, sensual voice behind him made him stiffen, but he dare not turn around.

"Gi…Gilbert…" Ludwig stuttered, and he released the journal when a familiar hand reached around to take hold of it.

"_How much did you read?"_ The tone was a mix between fury and arousal. Ludwig didn't know which worried him more. He gulped and tried to steady his voice just enough to answer coherently.

"Y-your first entry, and then…f-from when you fell off your horse to today." There was nothing so unfortunate as becoming titillated at his brother's incestuous musings. While Ludwig read, his need slowly became more prominent until it pressed to the cloth barrier of his breeches, something that was too obvious to Gilbert as well.

"Did you enjoy them?" There was a hint of nervousness in his voice as well, but he masked it as well as he could. He tossed the journal onto the desk, where it fell closed.

"…Is there a correct answer to that question?"

The blonde was treading on eggshells.

"It depends on what you plan on doing for the rest of your evening, to be quite frank." His voice was like the soft silk of Ludwig's shirt, gliding gently through his mind. The next minute it turned into rough sandpaper, the weight of his words a course grit on his heart. He was reminded of Gilbert's writing.

"Do you love me?"

The question surprised Gilbert. "Of course I do, why do you ask?"

"Because you don't love me in the way that it matters" the blonde said boldly, but with a heavy heart. "You love me as a brother, you _want_ me as some whore from the streets, as a body to bed with who'll be gone in the morning. _That is not love_."

Ludwig's words stung. He had turned around and looked his elder in his eyes, confessing his thoughts as his eyes swam with emotion and disappointment. It was true he did not love his brother the way he wanted, but it was still a brotherly love, and that had to count.

Ludwig continued talking.

"My only wish is to make you _happy_, Gilbert. But if…_taking_ me in those fashions makes you see how much I love you, then so be it."

Before Ludwig had the chance to say another word, Gilbert had taken him tightly in his arms, pressing their lips together in the crude form of a kiss. Clashing mouths waged war, Ludwig was soon defeated, and he was invaded and pillaged so thoroughly his body was left breathless. It was as if the volcano in the pit of his soul had finally erupted, sending molten passion and desire flowing between each other. They parted all too soon.

"You _love_ me? You wish to make me _happy_?" Gilbert's breath was hot and almost desperate against his brother's petal soft lips. Icy blue eyes lidded and clouded with an emotion he barely recognized until moments ago.

Ludwig nodded eagerly. _Anything_ for his brother.

"You know what to do."

His naiveté would be his undoing.

o.o.o

It could almost be called comical how often Ludwig fumbled through this process.

As Gilbert sat ready to go, breeches unbuttoned and pulled past his buttocks, Ludwig was still struggling to get his own clothing off with some shred of dignity. He had tripped on his pants cuff a few times and got his head stuck in his shirt, but eventually he was fully nude, standing shyly in front of his brother.

He looked anywhere but at him. He was too nervous for the acts to come.

"Come here." The order was received obediently, and Gilbert's cock twitched at how pliant his brother had become. No longer did he have to tease to get his way. With a word or two, Ludwig did his bidding, all because he wanted to make him happy.

A pang of guilt struck Gilbert. Manipulation was one of his strong suits, but he never _dreamed_ of using it on his brother, to make him do something so obscene as suck him off. Using his brother in this way felt wrong, _disgusting_ even now that his fantasies were becoming a reality, but now that he had him, he didn't want to let go.

He was torn between the realm of fleshing out his desires and getting what he wanted for the past year, and wanting to preserve their relationship. So much could go wrong so fast.

For the first time in his life, Gilbert was scared of losing Ludwig.

Gilbert gathered his brother in his arms, kissing him as though he would a lover. It contained as much love as he could muster, and when he pulled away, Ludwig's eyes were still closed in bliss. He brushed a stray lock of golden hair from his face.

"I love you Ludwig, _I do_, it just…might take me some time to love you the way you love me." Ludwig gave a reproachful glare, but it softened at the puppy dog look he received from his older brother. He laughed softly and pressed their foreheads together, azure eyes gazing into crimson.

"Fine, but on one condition. I'll do what you want me to do, _but-_" the corners of his mouth tugged upwards, "you put your amazing artistic skills to good use and sell some drawings. It's punishment for not teaching me any art."

Gilbert rolled his eyes and smiled. "I may even teach you how, if you _behave_~"

Ludwig snorted and settled himself between Gilbert's spread legs, swallowing at the sight that met him. He would have to go on knowledge of what felt good to him, and what Gilbert told him to do. Fellatio wasn't Ludwig's strong suit.

Gilbert was much, _much_ larger than him, so much so it was rather intimidating. "It's okay, kleine, just go slow" Gilbert murmured, leaning on one arm while his other hand tangled through yellow hair slowly, soothing him.

_Easy for you to say_, Ludwig thought, but he leaned forward nonetheless. For once his studies proved useful, because now he was concocting a plan of attack. If he told his brother this he would be a mix between proud and amused.

He raised an unsteady hand and gripped the shaft loosely, increasing in tightness until he received a moan from his brother, Slowly, he began stroking, watching as that beautiful, perfect face contorted in bliss and hips thrust up closer to the mouth he wished he was inside at this moment.

Ludwig took the hint and moved closer, taking the deep red head of his cock into his mouth and sucking ever so gently, just enough for a pearl of precome to drip onto his tongue. He swallowed. It wasn't unpleasant, per se, but it wasn't appetizing either. Slowly, and sure that Gilbert didn't push, he lowered his head further, swallowing around the thick length.

The reaction he received was worth it. His brother let out a loud groan, and it spurred him on. With his right hand at the base, his head dove deeper and his tongue laved around the head endlessly, making sure to pull away for air every once in a while. He technique was repetitive, but the albino didn't seem to mind.

Ludwig experimentally went further down, the leaking head touching his throat now, and he swallowed once more. That tight, velvet heat was driving Gilbert mad, and he couldn't control himself as he gripped Ludwig's scalp and pushed, thrusting roughly into his mouth to reach some sort of release.

The blonde's eyes teared up, but he held fast, inhaling quickly when Gilbert withdrew then thrust roughly back in. Ludwig didn't know how he had gone so long without doing this. The gratification of seeing Gilbert gorgeous features twist in pure ecstasy at his actions. He took the trough treatment obediently until Gilbert withdrew. A string of saliva connected his cock and Ludwig's mouth.

"Y-you…you remember the drawing?" Gilbert huffed, standing on two feet shakily. Ludwig nodded and kneeled. Obediently he opened his mouth, watching with rapt attention as Gilbert's hand flew over his cock.

A deep, throaty growl left his lips as he reached his apex, seed spurting onto the blonde's perfect face, marring it for anyone else to see. He would keep this image with him forever. Just as his drawing, Ludwig's face was speckled with come, lapping up the milky substance greedily as it dripped from his nose and cheeks into his mouth. But he couldn't have captured the way his eyes shone in the dim light from the oil lamp, or how those eyes swam with admiration and reverence when he looked his way.

It was better than the drawing a hundred fold.

"God, I can't wait until I'm inside you…" he murmured to himself as he collapsed back onto the bed in pure bliss, and Ludwig blushed as he rose, staying silent.

"Are you okay with that…?"

"O-of course, it's just…how?"

Gilbert laughed heartily and gathered Ludwig in his arms as sat back up on the bed. "Bruderlein, you are so inexperienced it's amusing" he said, as his fingers trailed gently between supple cheeks to prod at his tight hole. Ludwig jumped. Gilbert gripped one cheek tightly in warning.

"Th-there?! B-but how?!" Gilbert silenced him with a kiss.

"I've done it with a few of the maids, so just follow my lead and don't forget to breathe, alright? I didn't love them, kleine, not even a little bit" he added, noticing the hurt look on his brother's face. He kissed him softly. "It was just for some quick relief, we have no relations together." Ludwig nodded, threading his hands through that silver hair and admiring those chiseled features of his new lover's face.

"Do you know how gorgeous you are?" he remarked, face coloring pink. Gilbert laughed.

"Yes, but I have _always_ wanted to hear it from you. Your praise is a boon to my ego, you should know that by now." Ludwig giggled and smiled gently, looking up from those pale lashes. The noise was so adorable, for the first time that night, Gilbert's face flushed.

He pulled his brother close once more for a kiss to distract him as his fingers circled his entrance and slipped in an inch. Ludwig recoiled, panting from the kiss. "I-it feels weird, l-like…"

"_Shh_, I know. You must grin and bear it. It'll feel better soon." He removed his right hand and reach to his nightstand drawer, pulling out a vial of some strange substance.

"Since you are not a woman, we need to use this" he said, holding it up for Ludwig to see. The liquid was a clear gold, and it sloshed around the glass container sickly.

"What does it do?"

"It makes things much easier on you. Now, no more questions or we'll never get to the real fun" he scolded lightly. He thumbed the cork out of the neck of the bottle and reached behind his brother to drip the lubricant between the soft globes, making sure his other hand spread it evenly. The excess he used to coat his member and he positioned Ludwig to kneel above it. Ludwig swallowed nervously and slowly lowered himself. Gilbert whistled and held him steady.

"Waaaait a second, I haven't even prepared you yet. You really are eager aren't you?" Ludwig blushed, more at the fingers prodding at his entrance than the suggestion that he was impatient. One finger slipped in and he clenched. "Relax…" Gilbert cooed, thrusting the digit in further and rubbing his walls. "The more you resist, the more it will hurt, and the last thing I want to do to you is cause you pain, liebling." Ludwig exhaled and closed his eyes, slowly willing his muscles to relax.

It was odd. He felt the need to push, but he knew he couldn't. After what felt like forever, he finally relaxed and the digit ventured deeper. A second finger rubbed briefly before slipping in as well. Ludwig squeaked, and Gilbert laughed.

"Adorable, kleine" he said, gently scissoring his fingers, getting wider each time. He pushed in further, prodding around for the boy's sweet spot, and he received a shameless moan that made his cock twitch.

"Feel good?" he asked breathlessly. Ludwig nodded and thrust his hips down on his fingers, trying to reach that spot again.

"S-so good…wh-what was that?" he panted. Gilbert pressed it over and over again, watching Ludwig squirm in ecstasy above him. How he would love to see that face in orgasm, but he stilled his hand and pulled out. Ludwig gave a pitiful whine.

"You're stretched, and I don't want you to release before I'm inside you…" Gilbert whispered huskily. Ludwig caught a glimpse of that feral lust just before his mouth was captured in a passionate kiss. A warm tongue prodded at his closed lips, and he opened them curiously, feeling the muscle venture in to reclaim its territory. Their tongues danced and slid along the other's teeth and gums, while Gilbert slowly lowered his brother onto his still hard cock.

Ludwig could feel every pulse of the veins in Gilbert's thick shaft, and he exhaled shakily. His muscles twitched and he shivered, slightly turned on by just the fact that _Gilbert was inside him, he's really doing this, this is really happening…_

The albino gave an experimental thrust upwards, searching in vain for the boy's prostate. He brushed against it and Ludwig moaned without restraint, leaning and angling himself so that when Gilbert repeated the action, he hit it straight on. Gilbert's own sexual prowess allowed him to hold off on his orgasm, but the same could not be said for Ludwig

Sparks flew in his vision and the coil in his gut tightened so much that he feared he would burst. With another jerk of his brother's hips, he came undone, spilling himself between their bodies, sticky fluid coating their stomachs.

Ludwig came down from his high, gasping for air, and opened his eyes to see Gilbert grinning. "What?"

"That was rather quick" the albino quipped, before grabbing the boy's bottom and flipping them around. He bounced and lay back, watching the predatory gleam in his brother's eyes return.

"You came, now it's my turn" he growled, lifting a pale leg to rest the ankle on his shoulders. He pushed through in one thrust, Ludwig's back arching impossibly so only the back of his head made contact with the mattress.

"_Grant me this request"_ the elder whispered, and the younger glanced his way. _"I wish to bed you so thoroughly and have you scream so loud that the cooks in the basement know who took you this night…"_

The earnest and husky tone ensured Ludwig's compliance. He nodded eagerly, tongue licking his lips. Gilbert's eyes followed its path before looking down at where they were connected. He groaned.

"You are my undoing" he muttered, and pounded his hips ruthlessly into Ludwig's ass, feeling the muscles contract and waver. He was so deep it felt like he was going to fall in at any moment.

Ludwig's cries of pleasure were of no concern. His only issue was that he took his brother how he had always wanted; rough and without mercy. He could deal with formalities like romance and wooing later.

The wet, sick sound of the lubricant sliding amongst skin filled the room, and soon Ludwig's moans were louder than his brother's as his arousal grew again. Being taken in this fashion felt even better than the slow love making he anticipated. No wonder Gilbert had drawn those pictures. They served a greater gratification, going fast and rough than slow and smooth.

He still loved his brother and wanted a true relationship, but they could compromise every once in a while to get what Gilbert, and now he, wanted most. A rough bedding as if they were not brothers, but instead passing strangers agreeing to a tacit love game.

The albino pulled out to the tip and slammed back in, making the bed rock and hit the wall. Again he repeated this, until the rhythm matched their own passionate coupling. This was pure bliss, making his beautiful, seductive brother moan and writhe underneath him, making him scream his name at the top of his lungs _because of him_, because Ludwig was just as bad as him for wanting this.

Gilbert roared and dug his nails into Ludwig's calf and fucked him without mercy, venting his pent up lust. His thrusts were powerful and quick and hard, making Ludwig's supple ass sting with the force of contact, but he didn't mind. His cock wept against his stomach and precome dripped down his shaft. He was desperate not to release again until Gilbert did.

Without warning, he was flipped onto his stomach and entered once again, Gilbert moving impossibly rougher than before. He felt sweaty, sticky silver hair tickle his shoulder, and then a piercing pain as his brother latched his teeth into his throat and growled primally. Ludwig's hard cock dripped onto the sheets and he couldn't take it any longer, letting the wave crash over him and he came, screaming Gilbert's name.

Gilbert followed suit, the sensation of being sucked into oblivion overtaking him. He spilled himself inside of his brother, moaning shamelessly into that sweet tasting neck he had yearned to kiss and bite for months on end. His thighs jerked, cock twitching as it released the last jet of essence into Ludwig's cavern and he fell to the side, not pulling out quite yet. He had never panted so hard in his life.

They lay together for ages, staying quiet and reveling in the silence. Nothing needed to be said, until Gilbert finally pulled out, and Ludwig turned onto his side. "You'll keep your promise, right?" he muttered, pressing his forehead into Gilbert's sweaty shoulder, inhaling the familiar and comforting scent.

"Of course, liebling. It'll just take a bit of time, is all." They sighed blissfully and embraced as newfound lovers.

The shrill squeal of Ludwig's handmaid in the morning had been a rude awakening, and Gilbert shooed her out and bade her lock the door, intent on sleeping in with Ludwig for the rest of the day.


End file.
